recently i have been scared stiff and jolted awoke by those terrifying nightmares. i dont know the reason why they kept reoccuring to me. and why must it be those ghostly encounters. twice it scared me stiff and i laid in bed awaken for almost an hour not daring to close my eyes cuz the images are so vividly displayed once i try to get back to slp. this is really annoying and exhausting knowing that you have to wake up early for work the nxt morning. and weirdly, this only happens on days when i have to work. on wkends, i dont usually get this. why is this so? i've been trying very hard to get rid of such occurance but it has still been futile as proven last night.
so, i went online to try to search for dream meanings, and i read that nightmares are usually caused by stress or fears. and dreaming of ghosts (known as momos) are usually caused by the fear to die or afraid of death. well, i got pretty afraid of dying recently due to many health problems surfacing. i start to wonder will i live a ripe old age, or will i just die abruptly one day. with increasing cases of suddenly deaths happening, i cant help but think that i might be one of those suay ones.. i know it may be stupid. im only 23 yet im thinking abt death.. but life's really unpredictable isnt it? look at michael jackson and many others.. they just passed on within a night. and well, thats really scary. with so much health complications that we face in these days.. its really hard to say that i might or might not become a victim of sudden death.
well, and yea. ppl who knows me know that im one of the scadey cats that are afraid of momos. for a true fact i know that they really exist. and yes, i have heard enough stories abt those to create a good image in my brain. momos stories are really bad for health and not for the faint-hearted (me). i choose to avoid stories and movies or watever with momos content but smtimes the more u try to avoid the more u imagine, thus, this might be the cause of it haunting me in my dreams.
stress. i didnt realise i cld be so stressed up with work. my job is pretty simple most of the times. but i guess what im stressed abt is living up to my mgr/boss's standards. i for one, hates to be scolded, or pin-pointed. i hate it when smone gives me the look of disgust when u do a job wrongly or slowly. i just dont like that feeling. and i hate to be scolded for nothing. i have to deal with my mgr/boss moods when i work and thats really tense. i mean, if u're not careful, u might just get scolded for smthing thats not even under ur responsibility. i hate this alot and i try very hard to avoid it. so much that im on my toes almost every min at work. it tires me out. so much that everyday when i knock off at 6pm my brain alrd shuts down. this amout of tense-ness has caused a great amt of unknown stress, which probably is the reason of my sickly body recently and also, my nightmares. i know this is slowly wearing me out.. and i need to find a way to solve it. sighs.
yea. sighs. i am on a sick-streak recently.. i just visited the doc twice in 3days, and 4times in a mth. contributed much income to the doctors. high fever, indigestion, back aches and what nots. i dont rmb myself getting those during sch days! sch days was stressful too isnt it! am i aging? or whats wrong? cant help but think i may die (as mentioned previously) oh well.. i think i needa do something to my health. i cant always fall sick.
:( i dont wanna fall sick. i dont wanna dream of momos anymore. sobs.
