drama mamama

2010-02-07T03:33:00.003+08:00

been missing for a long time. going thru another phrase of 'growing' in life and i tot i shld blog on to keep a milestone.

i quote:
"I really thought I needed someone all the time.

But I just realised, I needed someone to care, just enough."

i think this is so damn true. many a times u "thought" u needed someone to be there (physically) all the time, but when u come to think abt it, its not exactly abt the physical-ness, its abt the type of care and attitude the person gives.

the right kind of attitude and care cld make the other person feel like u are "there" even when u are not. but sadly to say, not many understand this theory.

we shld all learn to compromise, but we shld also rmb that our lives lies in our own hands.
there's a limit to everything.

2009-12-25T03:27:00.004+08:00

selfish no?

some people only tell but never does. and they are often the people who going ard "trying" so hard to pile their "advices" on ppl (sounding so prophetic & whatever) but what an IRONY, they never ever did whatever they "saintly" advised.

its disgusting -.-

oh well, like how the sayings goes, to each its own and we shall all see.
we go thru life, we see ppl and we come to know who are worth our effort to be bothered abt. so yea, some ppl are just not really that worth i guess.

merry xmas! :) spend it with ppl that are worth it!

2009-12-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

perhaps there's still alittle fairytale that we could believe in? :)

2009-12-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

dusty blog.

min mentioned that i have not blogged for a long a long time. well, i shall attempt to blog again! courtesy for my dearest min :)

shall start to organise my bkk trip photos so that i can share in the nxt post.

2009-10-09T16:12:00.003+08:00

i've been tired. so tired. am looking so much forward to getting rest this wkend. have been dreaming abt my mgr these few nights. gawd, she's definitely haunting me.

event is finally over, which spells the end of my journey with my current company. i've yet to start thinking about what new jobs im gonna hunt for.. probably more looking forward to free times first and doing things that i've been missing out for 6mths (at the expense of income thou).

im gona bake, gona spring clean, gona meet my lesboobobo & my girls, catch my dramas, snack and of cuz, SLEEP.
maybe taking this chance to learn something new too.. and maybe it may come to use in the near future (i hope).

2 hrs more to wkends. its definitely agonizing to sit & wait, esp when slpy bugs are tugging at u all the time.

take me away
to better days...

2009-09-24T15:45:00.003+08:00

i reminice the days when we were still much younger school kids.

going to sch on squeezy subways, dragging ourselves awake for lectures & project meetings... sleeping & gossiping in class and rushing for snacks on every small little break. life was tough too. we had to cramp brains for project ideas & drain our blood dry studying for investment. we sacrificed wkends for projects and studying, we complained & hated it... but in the end, it was still fun. much much more fun than life now.

we were often broke, and had to work part time, which was tough too. but we still found time to have fun. going to play games, going for lunches, chilling session at cafe del mar, neighbourhood pubs, bday dinners, wii games, clubbing, chatting on msn till late nights etcetc. life meant so much more. life was really free & awesome.

now that we have money, and that we can afford all the above and more at an ease. but we nv seem to find time for it. we nv seem to have mood for those. lifes not wholesome anymore.

i know this is part of growing up... everyone tells me u got no choice but just grow up. i know i have no choice, but that doesnt mean i cant loath it.

i wished we were young again.

2009-09-18T16:01:00.001+08:00

its an eye opener how some ppl can stooooooop so low. im awaiting to see its capabilites.

come. perhaps u wanna leave me a tag on my blog as well? :)

2009-09-17T12:08:00.004+08:00

its a whole new life. with lots of changes. many new things that i've nv really done before..

i am excited.
and i cant wait to experience them all :)

perhaps we can walk on the rest of our journey together.

2009-09-14T18:03:00.003+08:00

spendings! big big spendings!

went for photo shoot at studio ystd. felt so fuzzy warm when my whole family dressed up for this special shoot. i shall post up the photos when its ready.

headed to comex after that, and tham papa bought me my netbook! yippie yay. big spendings for tham papa ystd. wanted the pink, but as always, i have no fate with pink stuff.. it was OOS. so i got the white instead :) equally nice.

suntec was infested! so much difference from saturday. and we throde thru the herds of humans.

soup restaurant for dinner after that. and wow, sudd i saw my family size grew.. from a 4 person family to a 6 person family. gee. nice thou.

i tried posting some pics.. but i duno whats wrong.. cant seem to get it up. i'll post them from home then.

2009-09-11T15:34:00.003+08:00

i've got delivery! :)

someone got me a bag (which i've whinned for a whole sunday afternoon) and there was a bearbear that popped out from it! hehehehe. both that i wanted.

i sort of guessed wat my secret gift wld be.. but was indeed a tad disappointed when i excitedly rip open the bag and saw no pink bear in it..... continued opening other zippers & searching the compartments for some "other surprise" but dont have..... and just when i was abt to give up, i squeezed 1 last compartment... and.... HEHEHE. out POPS carebear!

happened just at the right time :) expression priceless.

carebear is sitting beside me now... we both cant wait to go out to play !

2009-09-09T16:17:00.002+08:00

WHY DO WE HAVE SO MUCH ISSUES?????????????????????

i dont understand. i dont want to understand. i hate wasting time arguing abt such crap. i hate explaining myself. i hate hearing all the crap. i hate it. its wasting my energy and spoiling my god damn mood.

fuck. i am pissed.

2009-09-07T10:45:00.003+08:00

at times when im really really busy, i get occupied with issues & i have a lack of slp which makes everything in my world blur & groggy.

i remembered the last time i was 1 day away from my event, i had issues.. groggy dazy feeling.
and now, i am again 1 day away from my event, i have issues (again) disturbing ones... same groggy dazy feeling.
both times im lacked of slp.

i feel like im floating.
my mind is occupied with many things until im not sure which im thinking abt at one moment.
i am so sleeepy, i cant pay attention.
i have 101 things to do today & im still in a daze.

god. this is a cycle!
but smtimes this feeling is shiok.. esp the moment i knock off today.
i cant wait.

2009-09-02T16:14:00.002+08:00

i've been occupied! occupied and lazy to blog.

pretty much plans coming up! costly plans thou, need lotsa CASH.

i wanna new bag (again), a new phone (again), a camera, a netbook. yea baby hefty investments!

and

planning for a short getaway!

and

and....

a holiday is coming up! tix alrd booked :)

oh man~ how will i get to save with this amt of expenditure...
CASH can u pls come to me me me!

2009-08-27T09:20:00.003+08:00

*sweeps the dusts*

have not been blogging for so long.. just too lazy to do so. another long wkend for me again! shouts: yeay!

wkends coming up! perhaps just wanna nua this wkends... lazy to move arnd haha. did lotsa stuff last wk thou! all pretty fun!

enjoy yaself peeps!

2009-08-11T17:28:00.002+08:00

sometimes u get pretty lost on some thoughts... and u want to tell it to someone but as u browse thru ur contacts list, u realised that theres no one u cld actly speak to. because the only person who cld understand is urself.. but the only person who doesnt understand is also urself. oh my.. contradiction.

the only reason u can explain abt an unsure behaviour is because, the thing is not what u truly want or what u truly love. u question urself time to time if this is the right choice, but from time to time u realise ur answer wavering..

as much as i hated someone for being like that in the past.. i realised that i finally know how he felt (in some ways or another) and i guess i've learnt to act like him in some ways.. and perhaps someday i might do something the way he have done it...

what does the future hold?

2009-08-07T12:40:00.005+08:00

long wkends oh long wkends~ la lalala la lala.

ok im mad! but pardon me cuz long wkends are finally coming! i can smell it in a mile away... got quite a few plans for this long wkends alrd! which makes me excitedddddd haha. gonna eat play play play and eat heh heh. and i probably can finally see my keane keane miss him so much! maybe he cant recognise me alrd..

ok im abit insane due to lack of slp. im so hungry my tum tum is grrrowling and i cant wait to go for lunch!

i hope i can get to meet ray & richard (double R!) for dinn. i miss disturbing them so muchhhh!

ps. i shopped at charles & keith yest. i shopped again!!! grr out of control. but it was gd deals so i cant help but buy.. nice shoes but sob sob no more money..

happy wkends ppl !

2009-08-06T09:09:00.005+08:00

buying things gives me such mixed feelings. esp the higher the amt the higher the mixed feelings. its like a direct rship kind of thingy.. sounds like maths here.

thanks to this :)

i feel sooo poor now. boo hoo hoo i gotta eat grass for the whole of this mth le. im serious.
on the other hand, i cant wait for my hefty investment to arrive in my hands..
my ~~first~~ second branded bag. cheers. (cheers to more?) haha.

2009-08-05T09:57:00.001+08:00

i wanna go on a cruise!!! but i cant understand why cruises costs an outrageous amt of money...

ship petrol very expensive? boo :(

2009-08-04T17:48:00.004+08:00

hey ppl. have been wanting to share smthing. but blogger was down for a week thus wasnt able to do so.

lets see what my dear bitchy mgr sent me on friday afternoon.

woaw. what a nice email right!

i bet she wanted to add another sentence like "pls also dont go for 1hr long lunches" at the bottom of that email. and for goodness sake, we went for lunch at 230 bcuz we were doing work for her! do u think we wanna starve ourselves and purposely not go for lunch? ridiculous.

thats just so disgusting. i have my every right to enjoy 1hr of lunch. it is an entitlement given by MOM for every working employee to enjoy their mid day meal. dont tell me such a "cleber" person like her doesnt know?!

fuck. what does she think we are? plain selfish bitch.

i could feel fumes coming outta my head the instant i saw that email. i wanted to bite her head off! and i still do now.

2009-08-03T17:45:00.001+08:00

blogger has some serious problem. why haven the adminstrators done anything abt it? it has been a week alrd. harlow~

2009-07-30T13:09:00.001+08:00

i have a fucking bitchy manager that i would love to slap and stab to death. she is seriously getting on the each and every of my nerves and my patience to ta han her has reach another limit. i dont care if shes going to get to read my blog someday and finds out how much i HATE HER and CURSES HER. actually i secretly wished that she will read this and get to know how each and every person dislikes her. as much as she thinks she's a saint, everyone out there knows that shes the real weird one. weird, like a fugly MF disgusting looking monster with 12 limbs and 5 face. argh. i pray secretly that she will turn into this right now as im typing this entry!

me and my colleague has seriously come to a point that we can no longer ta han this bitch. i am alrd amazed by myself that i cld take her for 3mths. i am seriously wondering how long more i can tolerate her daily nonsense. each day when she flares at me or makes monkey faces at me (over no rhyme/reason or just simply nitty gritty stuff) i have an urge this huuuuuuggggggggge to scowl at her and scream "WTF do you want into her face", i am trying very hard to not make this happen but i am not sure how much harder i can try. each time, those words just flashes time and time again in my brain while im staring at her. i imagine im pulling her hair and tearing her face apart as she nags and nags. i felt a silent joy and of cuz, i did not pay much attn to wat she demands me to do.

so, we are inhuman when we err. but not that she doesnt! we have spotted mistakes she made and yet when pointed out, she doesnt admit to them and instead turn it to bcome our fault! hello... i can proudly say that i dare to admit to my faults if i made them. but she??!?! she just pushes it away. and nv even say sorry. she dont apologise. she nv do. she will just make a disgusted face and change the topic. oh man. how can you stand a person like thisss?

her mood swings are worse than a tornado. fuck are we even paid to entertain her mood swing? shes a psycho. and shes driving us insane. she makes us feel so bitter. she complains that everyone else is stupid and seems like no one can be smarter than her. since everyone is stupid, thn why need our help? its so contradicting that u cant even understand.

theres so much joy in life that a person like her can nv experience or understand. shes the real weird one but she nv seems to realise and will nv agree that shes one. shes a attention seeker yet doesnt admit to it.. sigh. its so hard with her in the office!!! we just wish that she get lost soon!

2009-07-29T20:34:00.001+08:00

woow. so happy. my template works fine on mozilla too :)

happy is just a statement. i am so pms-ing now. i can bite.

2009-07-29T18:18:00.001+08:00

yeay! finally a new blog skin :) i hope it looks good with mozilla. i am anal in some ways too.

2009-07-18T16:59:00.004+08:00

was chatting with lesbo ystd on the way home and we reached a topic of growing up.

we were mentioning abt how time is constrained for every one of us nowadays.. with the commitment to work, it leaves us with not much time to meet with close pals. it is a pretty sad thing.. because i seriously missed those carefree days where me and my gfs meet up every wkends w/o fail. we can just nua and hang arnd in town with nothing much to do.. yet feel very happy and enjoyed. sadly, we can no longer afford such luxuries now anymore.

we came to a conclusion that we have grown and entered another stage in life. where we have less time for meeting ups and we start to face more other commitments.. we feel lesser and lesser like a kid. are we all aging?

growing up is such a mixed feelings process.. it makes u gain some things and lose some things at the same time...

i miss all the above dearly.

2009-07-14T09:11:00.000+08:00

maybe its just too much to ask of everyone.

for a moment i thought that was what i wanted (so much). but for another moment, i thought otherwise. i got lost in my thoughts this morning as i listened to enya for some healing therapy. tried to search in the bottom of my heart.. but wat i've found is a mine of mess, a debate of what is and what not.

i am so exhausted...
i cant even figure myself out. let alone know what i really want to do..

2009-07-10T13:12:00.002+08:00

TGIF!! 5 more hrs to knocking off~ i am so sleepy and freezing while waiting for lunch to come in another 1/2hr's time.

i wanna go shopping after work today! lamenting for a few items from town.
and i got CRAVINGS! big cravings! i wanna eat waffle with ice cream or loads of maple syrup. yum yum! i wanna eat many other things too. have been missing out lots of gd food due to being sick. boohoo. i wan my pumpkin prawn, crabs etc etc. lethal seafoods.

hahaha.

2009-07-04T02:17:00.001+08:00

its finally wkends. i've been busy.. my stomach is still giving me lots of problems and im missing out alot of gd food due to it. grr. when can i recover???

i need rest, enjoyment, entertainment and peace. wkends!!!

2009-07-01T22:31:00.003+08:00

cheers! to the nv ending shit load at work. i wish i cld be as enthusiastic as the word implies.

i am so freaking worn out. big sigh big sigh.
my whole body is aching alot nowadays and it feels like its gonna break apart very soon. is that pure fatigue or am i really falling apart? ok, being paranoid here. but i mean, is this normal? do you guys get this body-breaking-apart-feeling almost every night? leave me a tag, let me know if i am normal...

i was in desperate need to release my frustrations so i went to shop just now. guess thats one of the only few joys girls like me cld get to feel wee bit better. got some gd deals for dresses and it made me feel a wee bit happier.. just a tiny bit, only as big as an ant.

probably another way i cld feel better is pick up the phone and rant. but smtimes i get so tired i dont wanna even open my mouth and slping might be a better choice.

GRR.

its time now. i shld go to bed with my baby daisy.
life is tough. GRR.

2009-07-01T15:28:00.006+08:00

i can finally blog. and rant. yes rant abt work. i've been stressed, its the rest stress this time. with the event approaching in 1week plus time, it has been on my mgr's nerves and in turn my nerves as well as she has been giving me a damn hard time.

everyday i go to work in a presssure cooker. i understand that all work comes with stress and i understand too that humans are bound to make mistakes, and if i do so, i will admit and accept scoldings bcuz i deserved it. but what i cant accept are unreasonable accusuations and mgr's way of sniding comments when u are not even repsonsible for that mistake. being a new staff, there are lots of funcationalities that i do not understand, i dont know how they usually do things, i dont know suppliers, i dont know how suppliers work etc. and time and time again, i get that irritated/pissed look frm my mgr bcuz i didnt do things correctly or bcuz i made mistakes.. shes a perfectionist, but i am not perfect. i mean she cant expect everything to be correct the first time thru right. i hate it when she gives me "that look". she makes me feel that im retarded or im stupid. it really upsets me and i start thinking, am i really that incompetient.

ppl tells me this is what you gotta learn to handle in working environment. i know. but its just very tough and too much for me to handle smtimes. probably cuz im too used to being surrounded by ppl who protects me.. and now that im exposed to the lions eat lambs world, i lost my abilty to self defend. i know i got to learn.. but im just feeling very dishearten and accusated recently.

sometimes, i am still too naive. i keep thinking that the world will be a beautiful place if everyone was compassionate and everyone was willing to coach patiently. sadly, it wont always happen. probably cuz my previous superiors were are compassionate kinds so i naturally tot everyone will be..

i am exhausted. learning and coping.
i wanna go home to ppl who wouldnt judge me for who i am...

2009-06-29T16:29:00.009+08:00

i have been having dreams.. not the sweet dreams kind, but more of the horror kind. nightmares.

recently i have been scared stiff and jolted awoke by those terrifying nightmares. i dont know the reason why they kept reoccuring to me. and why must it be those ghostly encounters. twice it scared me stiff and i laid in bed awaken for almost an hour not daring to close my eyes cuz the images are so vividly displayed once i try to get back to slp. this is really annoying and exhausting knowing that you have to wake up early for work the nxt morning. and weirdly, this only happens on days when i have to work. on wkends, i dont usually get this. why is this so? i've been trying very hard to get rid of such occurance but it has still been futile as proven last night.

so, i went online to try to search for dream meanings, and i read that nightmares are usually caused by stress or fears. and dreaming of ghosts (known as momos) are usually caused by the fear to die or afraid of death. well, i got pretty afraid of dying recently due to many health problems surfacing. i start to wonder will i live a ripe old age, or will i just die abruptly one day. with increasing cases of suddenly deaths happening, i cant help but think that i might be one of those suay ones.. i know it may be stupid. im only 23 yet im thinking abt death.. but life's really unpredictable isnt it? look at michael jackson and many others.. they just passed on within a night. and well, thats really scary. with so much health complications that we face in these days.. its really hard to say that i might or might not become a victim of sudden death.

well, and yea. ppl who knows me know that im one of the scadey cats that are afraid of momos. for a true fact i know that they really exist. and yes, i have heard enough stories abt those to create a good image in my brain. momos stories are really bad for health and not for the faint-hearted (me). i choose to avoid stories and movies or watever with momos content but smtimes the more u try to avoid the more u imagine, thus, this might be the cause of it haunting me in my dreams.

stress. i didnt realise i cld be so stressed up with work. my job is pretty simple most of the times. but i guess what im stressed abt is living up to my mgr/boss's standards. i for one, hates to be scolded, or pin-pointed. i hate it when smone gives me the look of disgust when u do a job wrongly or slowly. i just dont like that feeling. and i hate to be scolded for nothing. i have to deal with my mgr/boss moods when i work and thats really tense. i mean, if u're not careful, u might just get scolded for smthing thats not even under ur responsibility. i hate this alot and i try very hard to avoid it. so much that im on my toes almost every min at work. it tires me out. so much that everyday when i knock off at 6pm my brain alrd shuts down. this amout of tense-ness has caused a great amt of unknown stress, which probably is the reason of my sickly body recently and also, my nightmares. i know this is slowly wearing me out.. and i need to find a way to solve it. sighs.

yea. sighs. i am on a sick-streak recently.. i just visited the doc twice in 3days, and 4times in a mth. contributed much income to the doctors. high fever, indigestion, back aches and what nots. i dont rmb myself getting those during sch days! sch days was stressful too isnt it! am i aging? or whats wrong? cant help but think i may die (as mentioned previously) oh well.. i think i needa do something to my health. i cant always fall sick.

:( i dont wanna fall sick. i dont wanna dream of momos anymore. sobs.

2009-06-24T13:14:00.003+08:00

i was searching for a skin the whole morning but still cldnt find one.. seems like im gonna give up. its so hard to find one that i like. i am thaaaat anal.

its wednesday. fridays pls come soon. awesome fridays.

anyways cant wait for wkends.. i just heard some pretty awesome plans!

i want my DDs! :)

2009-06-23T17:13:00.003+08:00

ok.. i tried changing my blog bkgrnd. i hope it works.. got to wait till i get home to view it on mozilla.

45mins more to knock off! i really cant wait.

am so tired cuz i only had abt 5hrs of slp last night. itchy backside keep thinking i wasnt slpy so no need to slp so early.. its always wrong to not slp early!

i want to get of out here! i want to snooze too!!

2009-06-22T17:38:00.007+08:00

booya! i am back. and im alrd starting to miss my holidays.

great trip! lots of eating and playing. frankly speaking, theres only eating and playing. hahaha. great reward! no photos on the trip cuz we were all simply too busy being entertained.

super delicious sotong snack from Mr Sotong shop.

my mango cardi! i wanted it ever since it was on the shelves but i found the price too unreasonable for a piece of cropped cardi. so i decided to wait for the sale. wala! now i even bought it from msia. means its even cheaper than sg's sale price.

skin care & nail polish

mags! cheaper too!

sandles. for wkends wear.

and the specially delivered gift. found it lying on my bed in a dhl box..
it loooks so grumpy just like me (everyone says that). that innocent but irritating look. muahaha.

piggy and her new sister. happy from their vacation :)

very fun trip! i miss my travel companions. even kk lol. he entertained us well! he even read fashion mags tgt with me & cel at the back of the car. and he was the object of our all our jokes. hilarious.

just 2 short days but feels like we've been away for long. bowled, movied, casino and ate like nobody's business. haahahaa.

not forgetting the HOT road trip. our car aircon broke down. and we ~~almost got~~ baked on the way back. sweating like pigs. but i still think its worth it! for the experience. but once is enuff!

good food, good fun and great company. what more can u ask for on a wkend~

2009-06-19T11:59:00.003+08:00

3 impt things to finish off today before i shoot off for the wkend!

1. eblast email invites for my coy event
2. change blogskin (again)
3. wait for the clock to tick 6

3 simple, no brainer but miserable task to do.

have been trying to do the stupid eblast since last afternoon and still hasnt been successful. is it playing a joke on me! can sense that its getting mgr pissed off since the 2nd attempt is still futile. oh pls let it be one last time later and everything goes out smoothly. thn we can wrap up for the wkend feeling much lighter.

it is so miserable waiting for 6 to come (esp with the eblast thing hogging at the back of my brain)!! still 6 long hrs away.. sob. sob.

2009-06-18T23:35:00.002+08:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to my @$#%$&%$*^*&(#^$ horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i realised that my blogskin cant been seen using mozilla firefox!

i neeeeed to change it immediately tml!!!

2009-06-18T13:21:00.003+08:00

was helping my mgr look for 2010's public holidays calendar just now.

like woow! seems to be many PH for nxt year. almost 9 of them!

joy of every 9-6 office cubicle slave indeed!

2009-06-17T16:43:00.011+08:00

after many requests from friends to see what my office looks like, i decided to take a few photos and post them up here.

welcome, to my.... contemporary-house-looking office. pretty much different from many other office-like office.

this is my boss' table overlooking into a little garden. quite serene. i wish my desk was there thou. i can ~~stone~~ get more inspiration with the help of nature.

this shows abit of the pantry, my mgr's & my desk. and in the middle part there, we have a pond with fishes. and the front part of the office belongs to another coy.

me and alittle close up at my desk.

yeap. thats my small house-looking office. what do u think?

on another note, its wednesday 4.52pm now! i cant wait CANT WAIT for fri to be here! not only bcuz its wkends, but also bcuz im going on a wkend escapade again!

woo! to the cool mountain and the cold cold air and lots & lots of play~

2 moreeeeee days heh :)

2009-06-16T16:16:00.002+08:00

yayness! new blog skin! have been lamenting to change my blogskin for quite awhile and i've finally done it. it can take up quite some time! good time killer for a bored day at work.

looking slurpy and nice now! it shall tempt me to blog more. and put more photos of cuz! promise. :)

nxt up, i shall show u guys how my office looks like! stay tuned for the photos heh.

2009-06-15T11:02:00.003+08:00

trust. is such a hard thing to believe in.

it takes a lifetime to build trust but just a moment to destroy every bit of it. perhaps no one cld ever understand why girls like myself or some of my frens find it so hard to trust someone again. perhaps u have nv been in our shoes or nv met the guys that we have met before. the hurt that they implicated in us makes it so hard to believe in any thing new.

we become skeptical. very skeptical. we remind ourselves time and time again nv to be too trusting cuz we find that the more u trust a person, the higher hopes u start to pin on that person and in the end, u are the only one to get disappointed. the only one to feel that so familiar hurt again. to wake up in the middle of the night and early in the morning feeling that heart wrenching feeling. once is enuff. how many more times can we take this?

what makes u so sure, things will nv happen again?

this shadows haunts us.. in the past, present and future.

2009-06-14T21:45:00.005+08:00

a working adult faces many constrains. time, is one impt constrain.

i recall the days when i was still a student or those days when i just graduated. i had so much freedom with time. i could do whatever i want at any time, any day. that was really a joy.

i miss those days where i cld meet mimi 3-4 times a week to comb cp, bugis, mustafa etc. and those days where i used to camp at lesbo's hse till late night to surf the net and gossip tgt. to me, these are really wonderful moments which i have been missing from the day i started work.

i realised that when u start working, the only ppl that u constantly come to contact on a daily basis is ur family (if u're lucky enuff to catch all of them during dinner times), ur SO (significant other), and ur sickening superiors. of cuz, u will also try to keep up with ur gfs/close frens. but smtimes its just abit sad cuz everyone is working or studying (at different hrs/different place) and it makes it very hard to meet up or catch up because everyone gets so exhausted after a long day, and they usually just wanna go home to rest or isolate themselves or slp (like me).

last time before i really worked, i always thought i aspired to be a career minded woman. but since i started work, i realised that this isnt the case. i found out that i love my personal time too much to sacrifice it for work. thou money is impt, but it doesnt make sense if u had too much money but no time to make urself happy or to rest. this isnt life.

doing things i want to do with ppl i love is life. having time to appreciate the beauty of nature is life. spending time with ur loved ones is life. more often that not, we rush thru everyday not having time to realise whats going on in life. every morning, everyone rushes to work, whine all day for work to end, rush home, sleep, and the cycle continues. we rush here and there, and it dawned on me, what is this for.

we hardly find passion for the work we do. its just for the sake of money. its amazing how much ppl cld force themselves thru work just for this. sigh, it is sad.

we need to find a joy that is worth living for.

i miss my gfs.

i miss tenaga. the days where we used to meet every wkends and do stupid but fun things.

i miss holidays with my family.

i miss hk with lesbo!

i miss doing crazy things with the girls!

i miss shopping with mimi :)

i miss my life~!

2009-06-12T09:19:00.009+08:00

TGIF!!!

guess this is the happiest day for every 9-6 office cubicle slave. woohoo! hear the cheers out there. lets wish that everyone have a gd friday without any ~~sucidal~~ squeezing from superiors!

since today is such a happy worth to ~~pop a champange~~ take a breather and relax day, thus let me update u on a crazy stunt i did last night! i think the allure of wkends must have gone into my head prematurely. hohoho.

as i mentioned earlier, my new phone has broken down and was sent for repair just within a mth from the date i bought. well, it has been at the svr centre for almost 3wks!!! goodness gracious. it boiled my bld whenever i think of it and to add on the ~~misery~~ suayness, my old phone is starting to break down too.. why? bcuz its old alrd la! haha.

so last night i crept to mustafa to take a look at phones. i really just wanted to look la. so, i was browsing thru and was pretty much sure that nothing tempted me... but before i cld congratulate myself on successfully being untempted.. i stumbled across something. woah!

i knew it i was doomed. haha.

i saw this pink sleek looking thing shining at me from the display cabinate.. almost like its waving to me (ok, this was my hallucination) but anyway, i succumbed and that thing was in my hands almost in the nxt instant.

oh~ how evil are temptations...

ta dah! this is now sitting in my care and i finally own a pink phone! and clamshell too! after so so long. hahahaha. kuai le! (erms, i can hear mindy scolding me in the backgrnd haha!)

its saturday tml. yay! time to think of what to do. i'll probably go eat again. i've got a few cravings, duno which to settle first. heh eat eat eat. :)

2009-06-04T12:02:00.005+08:00

everything is just being retarded, and they're irritating the hell out of my ass. the phone, the mp3, the bus, the people and work.
gruff!!!!!!! i can feel my nerves gonna snap soon.

i hate it when your boss/mgr/supervisor vents his/her frustrations on you when u are not even the one who caused their irritations. i mean like ???!?!?!?!?! and @$#%$^%& what the hell seriously. go take up some temper mgmt or whatever la. i hate it when they are so stringent and demands u to do everything single shiate in their way. i just hate it lo. come on, not everyone works the same way isnt it?

i just hate being someone's subordinate.
bloody damn hate this week.

2009-06-01T12:23:00.009+08:00

ever since i started working, i come here numerous times to complain abt how sucky it is to work. its not abt the task u have to do, it is the hours u have to spent locked at ur desk/cubicle/watever. i know, i am so naggy.. but it is really sucky what!

i seriously detest working and it doesnt help that its only monday now and i've to complain another 3423634745674565times before it comes to wkend again. gosh.. why is it so hard~

wkends has been great, im like running arnd every wkend to utilize my only leisure time. it makes it worse because u feel so shitty every monday having to bid ur lovely wkends gd bye. and as u can see, i no longer have time to take new photos to post here as my phone is still repairing. that damn shop is seriously take a bloody long time.

on the side note, i realised that i am always eating nowadays. omg.. i go everywhere just to eat! well, i guess thats the only way u feel rewarding after being tortured at work from monday to fridays.

oh man.. another 423637467456days to wkends. someone pls save me!

2009-05-30T13:26:00.002+08:00

unconditional love.

it felt nostalgic while i was having breakfast at the market with my mum just now. suddenly it just felt like old old days, like when i was young and how we always ate at the market tgt in the mornings.

it felt nice. the old lovey butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling. it reminded me again, how much love a parent cld give to her child. she still treat me like how she did 15years ago, i am still a kid to her, and i'll always be her kid.

i <3 my mum.

2009-05-29T15:31:00.000+08:00

i smell the big fattie paycheck. wooooow.
thank god its friday.
and, im kinda worried abt my health.

all these 3 points does not link. i know. haha.

2009-05-26T10:28:00.001+08:00

today is 26 may............................

2009-05-24T23:49:00.001+08:00

i feel sad that wkend has come to an end. saddd.

2009-05-21T16:12:00.003+08:00

look at this amt of roses in a bouquet!!!!

i wonder how many stalks are there inside.
ehehehehehhhh.....

i think some special occasions are coming up. ie. my graduation ceremony & others (ahahaha i'm kiddin...)

2009-05-20T10:51:00.006+08:00

my blog is getting abit stale without pictures! and i just realised that i have yet to post the tonne load of pictures from my hk trip & my bday. which happens to be the 2 biggest event of my 2009 (till now. life's unpredictable, right?).

god.... when will i find the time.

and randomly,
i think my hair is getting longer. hmm what shall i do with it? heheheheheh
i'm getting my pay check nxt wkend. first big fat paycheck.
i'm always slping these days. but its still nv enuff.
that bloody damn headache is pestering me & attempting to kill me.
i'm toying with the idea of going overseas again haha.
and, i've to get my damn phone fixed! i cant hear anything when ppl calls me.

yup. thats abt it.

i wanna go out and play!!!! hallujah!

2009-05-19T11:43:00.002+08:00

i think i've changed..
but sometimes i experience the old me contradicting the new me.

the journey u've been thru somhow moulds u into another person. and i find myself, becoming more like yks.

is that good news or bad?

2009-05-18T11:09:00.006+08:00

over the wkend, i went shopping..

i bought a water bottle. ahahah it sounds so primary sch. (rmb those cartoon water bottles that we used to buy? that the cap pops up once u press a button?)
lol. i miss those..

i bought this. nalgene. bcuz i need to use it to store warm water in the office. and i dont want to die from poisoned plastic.

i also bought new lanyards for my phone and snacks. yea snacks of cuz. to fill my bag so i dont faint from hunger.

then, i went to watch angels & demons.. which i dont really understand what msg its trying to bring across, except that even religious ppl do bad things to gain power?
oh man.

and i had mac big breakfast. then i slept my way thru sunday..

and... today is monday again!!! wtf. monday bluesssssss.

2009-05-17T23:00:00.002+08:00

i have not enough non-working days to wear my non-working clothes!!! i miss my informals, shorts, casual dresses, flip flops.. my comfy clothes!

boooo.. this makes me upset!

very upset! :(

2009-05-16T00:53:00.002+08:00

sometimes when u become too sure of what u want, it becomes alittle bit scary. because u dont seem to have any feelings anymore..

put it into another words, u become overly logical and there is no feelings involved. then u start wondering, where did feelings go to? or does it exist?

2009-05-12T21:33:00.002+08:00

time has become a limited dot com thing for me ever since i started working.

a human has 24 hrs a day,
9 hrs which u painstakingly give up for one of the greatest life-suckers, work. and in order to get to that work place (aka hell/cage/jail whatever), u spend around 2 hrs to and fro each day. thats alrd 11 hrs out of the pathetic 24 hrs. thats like 45% of ur entire day!!! dont u feel sad?

after which, u have to spend 7 hrs sleeping at least, in order not to curse and swear in the morning. and thats alrd 18 hrs out of ur life, 5 times a week.

that will leave u with a pitiful 6 hrs to do ur personal stuff, which includes a nv ending list like, eating approximately 3 times per day, snacking occasionally, shitting, bathing & brushing ur teeth around 2 times, spending some time with ur family, surfing the net for ur own personal use and chatting carefreely on msn, watching dramas, facebooking, blogging, loading photos, calling up ur pals & catching up to make sure u do not become the turtle in the well, sneaking out for suppers or out to play once in a while, trimming ur nails, changing nail polish colour, triming ur brows and this list goes on forever.
this does not include meeting ur pals up physically, and if u do so, that will be at least another 2 to 3 hrs per meet up.. which leave u with.. practically no more time!

where the hell is work-life balance u tell me. this is just bullshit in sg. go look at aussie for real work-life balance. ppl knock off at 5pm sharp and they just forget abt work and return home to live their life! and mind u, they start work at 9am too. so, work-life balance in sg is just fuck crap.

i chiong here and there everyday. now its alrd almost 10pm.. and what have i done? i just basically ate dinner, watched some tv, bathed and came here to type this out. and ta dah, time to slp again.. what shit is this man.

now u wish there were 48 hrs a day.

you work ur entire life trying to be rich, but whats the point!
that isnt life at all.

2009-05-12T17:36:00.005+08:00

u realise how sucky work is after ~~playing too much~~ having too wonderful a weekend. not forgetting to mention, a long wkend. eh heheheh.

u curse and swear (thats what i do every morning) and u can only whine till the nxt wkend comes along. and whine harder for the nxt long wkend to come.

life, once again, such an irony.

counting down to the nxt 20mins!! the bird needs to fly.

2009-05-11T22:22:00.002+08:00

oh man.

i just feel like getting married too!

it may not be every girl's dream.. but its definitely mine :)

every woman's happiest day?

2009-05-08T16:30:00.000+08:00

FREAK. i dont know if i am doing the right thing.

2009-05-07T19:46:00.006+08:00

i do things on impulse almost 99% of the time. ahahaha.
the only rationality i have is just worth 1%.

ahahaha what a joke.

impulse is nice because it gives u quite an exhilarating feeling. but it can turn out bad too, cuz sometimes it ends up being too big a headache. haha.
oh well, who cares so much right. i think i just found some of my fuck-care attitude back. *does the star jump*

aha life is too short to think too much. so, cheers to impulse!

2009-05-07T15:38:00.004+08:00

hello. its a standard lazy afternoon now. how i wish i was home, in my comfy clothes, decked into my fav chair and enjoying my all time fav hk dramas. hugging my pillow or piggy and feeling damn shiok by doing nothing.

yea. i can continue to wish. grr. i think such life wont exist for me anymore. i can just cry over my lost.

waking up in the morning is just so damn freaking hard. it is just an indescribable sucky feeling (for a pig like me). which i doubt i ever get used to.
everything abt working is just so argh. the only best thing u get from it is money (which is almost what u highly desire for too).

what an irony.

i hate this dog life.

2009-05-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

at times when u feel damn low, when u feel like throwing temper, when u feel like just complaining and complaining, it is then u realise who is beside you.

i am thankful they are there. u all know who u are.

2009-05-04T15:40:00.001+08:00

working is just simply self sucidal.

i am an upset little girl now.

2009-05-03T16:17:00.010+08:00

WELCOME. To my presents galore 2009

The most edible present award

The most desirable present award

my first blue box!!

The most useful present award

The most appreciated present award

The most touching & heartfelt present award
(mindy handmade it ok! when she was missing me while i was in HK) :)

The most cheesy & sweet (in terms of sugar) present award

last but not least.

The most colourful & beautiful present award
(most expensive also. oops)

thank you everyone! for spending so much $$ and for telling me how much u all love me! i appreciate it thiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssss much!

2009-05-02T17:35:00.005+08:00

im so bored here.. and im wasting my saturday away! grrr.

shall blog while waiting for plans to made.

hehheh. love that wallet!

flowers and their unspeakable beauty.

2009-04-30T11:48:00.002+08:00

oh man! counting down to the amt of personal time left on my tiny hands.

means i have so much to do this wkends! i wanna:

get a new phone
get my wallet exchanged
get new specs (but this one can slowly la hahah)
buy new clothes!!!! (since when didnt i do this)
plus some nitty gritty other stuff

so much running arnd to do!

2009-04-30T02:09:00.001+08:00

i think i need to go to the beach again...
sigh.

2009-04-29T00:56:00.004+08:00

WOOOOHOOO i reached 90km/h!!!

i touched nicole highway, i passed the esplanade, i went into tampines mall area.

and i finally....................
drove with the music on!!!!!!

freaking hell! this is shiokness.

2009-04-27T17:57:00.001+08:00

not too close..
not too much into my space out of a sudden..

i need some air to breadth on my own too.

2009-04-27T03:49:00.001+08:00

will u love ur doll? if its not the barbie doll that u always wanted, but its just a (eg.)brats doll?

how much would u like it?

2009-04-26T14:21:00.002+08:00

with the greater the expectations, brings about the bigger the disappointment.

i realised that this space is not that secret anymore.

2009-04-25T17:53:00.003+08:00

SO EXCITED LA LA LALA LA LALA~
SO DELIGHTED LA LA LALA LA LALA!

2009-04-25T00:54:00.011+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

its 54mins into my once in a year affair!!!

woooopieeeeee i cant stop giggling, cuz.. i got a surprise (again!)

my piggy is 1 year old today too! and she has got a new friend to accompany her now!

piggy, me & lollipop are now happy 3 friends :)

my first bday cake! which arrived before 12am

(but i forgot to take a pic when it was litted in the boot. sad)

i feel like a little princess already :)

p.s/ thanks mum. 23 yrs ago, today was a hard day for her. she worked very hard to bring me up.

2009-04-24T03:06:00.005+08:00

random thoughts:

my hands are aching from writing an essay
i dont know if im missing someone
i duno if im missing the right one
i dont feel impt enough! (argh)
my bday is not impt enuff! (argh)
my bday dress kana colour run :( duno still can wear anot
im lazy to go for interview tml
no one wants to celebrate with me tml night (argh)
my bday is in 1 day's time!!!!

oh man.. bloody random.
i think i go sleep and dream liao. gd night.

2009-04-22T02:14:00.003+08:00

where do u get ben & jerrys in the night?
hehehe my house!

YUM YUM! this is a freaking delicious delivery!

happy food! :)

2009-04-20T21:24:00.009+08:00

我回来了!!!

i have a thousand and one photos to show and my HK trip to blog abt (i know i know) but im still exhausted! and i haven got all the photos yet, i promise i'll blog abt it soon!

TP and holiday are done. next up on the list! my bday of cuz. and that will be this saturday (god! so fast!) i have yet to really plan for it.. probably just a dinner gathering with the close people :)

anyways, ppl are alrd bugging me what presents i want.. so, thats the purpose of this entry. eh haha!
so people! u can consider the following options:

1. tiffany & co mini heart tagged earring (SGD 175)

2. tiffany & co oval tagged ring (SGD 305)

3. coach heritage stripe top handle pouch (SGD 339)

4. coach coin pouch/wristlet (SGD 135)

there's one that's sized in btw a coin pouch & wristlet. not exactly looking like this, but similar.

5. watch (either)

6. a surprise (SGD Priceless)

i can only think of these current few, which are abit pricey i know. i will go out to check out if theres other things that i might want!

but of cuz, u can still get me whatever that u might think i like or suits me :)
but pls dont get me perfume cuz i dont use them and no soft toys too pls. no more space for them.
i prefer things that i can use bcuz its much more worth it.

and of cuz, i love surprises! so, u might wanna choose to surprise me! in whatever way u think its the sweetest! :) heh (ahem this is such a big hint. i almost cant stand myself)

till then! thank u ppl in advance for cracking ur brains! and burning ur wallets!

i love u guys! :)

2009-04-15T23:33:00.004+08:00

time to relax and catch my breadth!
the past few days passed by in a flash! and i swear my brain havent really registered the series of events that took place.

first, i am now a driver (legal). and well, drama, someone popped up at the test centre on monday to witness my joy, happiness & relief. then after, robbed me for the night, errr haha!

then, i had to go thru another turmoil, which lasted 24hrs of bkk being in a mess. thus, changed my holiday destination and now i will be heading to HK! (in another 7hrs to be exact).

alrighty, i just packed (like almost half of my hse) into my luggage and im supposed to be coaxing myself to sleep after i finish this entry.

okie dok! hello hk (handsome actors, egg tarts, dimsum, milk tea, disneyland)! and i will be back in 4days time~

i need to (try to) sleep now! wheres my lullaby?!

2009-04-12T18:30:00.001+08:00

how am i going to pass tml? i really really dont know anymore..

2009-04-10T02:31:00.004+08:00

everyone is out to play! and im at home.. this is so sad!
but i think i will still be at home.. very sad! i have no mood for anything, this is also very sad.

ok, i think i am already mad.

my sis is going to cook maggie now, and im gonna eat it too. i have been gorging myself day & night for days alrd, and if i am going to continue eating like this.. i am gonna turn into A PIG very soon.
BIG FATTY PIG.

holla!!!!! save me plsssssssssssssssssssss! i already lost my sanity!

2009-04-08T13:09:00.002+08:00

5days more to TP, 8days more to BKK, 17days more to BDAY.

oh lala! im gonna die from anxiousness, nervousness and exhilaration soon! very very soon!!

this is the face i have now. oh man!

2009-04-02T16:53:00.006+08:00

SHOPAHOLICS

on tuesday, we girls met up for some ikea action (the always fun thang) & shopaholic movie!
so, how could we bear to end the day w/o some crazy snapping? :)

greedy pigs contest. cant wait to devour the delicious dessert!

S prefers to eat it all up alone.

jas, min & kimmi (lol)

our very own 连体婴.

minnie mouses?

my obession with kimmidoll!

2009-04-02T12:26:00.001+08:00

unexpected and elated.

its a lions for lamb company! 我可以吗???!!?!?

2009-04-01T23:49:00.004+08:00

i wanna show u my polarides! *beams*

that sums up my pack of winnie the pooh films! i want moreeeeee films!!
heh heh heh heh heh heh!

2009-03-31T12:43:00.001+08:00

I can't take it any longer

All we do is linger

Slipping through my fingers

I don't want to try now

All that's left is goodbye (dont test my patience to say this)

2009-03-30T23:34:00.005+08:00

我不知道，我们之间到底缺少了什么东西。。。我说不上来，但就是影影觉得缺了一些东东。。
不知是感觉，还是默契或是其他的。。

这几天想了很多，但还是不知道自己要的是什么，也不知道要人家怎么做。这是一种很苦恼的矛盾。
我不知道这是不是叫做强求，也不清楚是否该这样。。

我只感觉到每天的开心不是一致的，他没让我很开心，也没让我感到刺激或新鲜感，就是平平淡淡的每一天，平平淡淡的讲话，每件事都平平淡淡。。

强求是不会幸福的。但又怎么知道什么是强求或什么是尝试？
强求和尝试是否只在一念之间的分别呢？

我们到底需要些什么？

2009-03-29T13:46:00.003+08:00

DREAMS.

i love to dream, and i'm referring to those that i get during my sleep, not daydreaming. i doubt many ppl actually have a mind like mine, who dreams practically abt everything & anything. even the most absurd stuff could appear in my dreams, without any rhyme or reason.

but most often than not, my dreams tell me what i really want in reality. from my dreams, i get to see my desires and some times things that i truely want, that may never be available in real life. it may have existed but is alrd gone or it may never or can never exist in real life, at all.

dreams may be happy, dreams may be sad. but dreams are definitely tell-tale signs of what u want (or at least what i want). dreams get me pondering.

dreamers, do you agree with me?

2009-03-28T02:43:00.002+08:00

i'm skeptical.

i no longer have the confidence to trust and believe anyone in regards of a relationship. i always have this feeling or this fear that the person will still let me down. im afraid that everything will still boil down to the same disappointment, no matter how nice or how perfect u try to make it to be in the beginning.

my heart no longer have space for these 2 items, trust and believing.

2009-03-26T13:18:00.004+08:00

i hate to be A 2ND CHOICE.

why do i always have to be in such a circumstance?
I HATE IT. HATE IT.

2009-03-25T21:54:00.001+08:00

relationships...
love...
feelings...

are all confusing stuff.

2009-03-24T02:18:00.001+08:00

perhaps, its a new feeling that i will be finding! :)

2009-03-23T20:03:00.001+08:00

im sick and tired of all these inconsistency.

my head feels like its gonna explode soon. am i staring at the comp for too long or am i thinking too much?

2009-03-23T16:43:00.003+08:00

xxx and i can spend hrs sitting under the sky, facing the sea, enjoying the breeze and say nothing but feel loved and enjoyment (i know this is the past. but it is a special feeling).
i enjoy the peace & calmness of the scenery as much as him and vice versa, we often do that, which is sad, cuz i don think i can find another person who will enjoy it tgt with me as much as xxx... this is a very sweet and nice feeling, that i will rmb forever.

xxx can give me excitement even w/o using money, just a very special feeling. it is a feeling, it is a telepathy, that words cant explain..

too bad he changed. too bad he was nv gd enuff.
but he is the only one, that could give me the feel. the one that shared "that feel" with me.. the one that i probably can nv find, anymore.

2009-03-23T14:06:00.001+08:00

i rather have my hack care attitude back. even if it seems to be aloof.

im sick of this game. this very very troublesome GAME.

2009-03-21T02:22:00.003+08:00

i cant wait to get new clothes, new clothes and MORE NEW CLOTHES!!!

i wanna fill my cupboard to the brim with it and adore them heheheheheh.

2009-03-20T12:45:00.012+08:00

Many many activities and much updates (in life), too much that i dont know where to begin with.

Girls Movie Outing

Little J went to the salon one saturday afternoon, sick of herself & her style, then came out looking like another person.

coloured it, straighten it,

and snipped it off.

now i have bangs! and really short hair.

then gfs & i went to catch he's not that into you. i tot i would cry, but apparently, i did not.

rare girls only outing calls for massive cam whoring!

we do all the shits together & we get all the sweets together too.

our token of love.

the new Mini J! hello world!

Dbl O - The Yearly March Affair

then it was the once again yearly affair at dbl O during the march season! to celebrate M's bday!

theme: blair

blair-ish US!

the booze and the dance and the blairs, heh.

Secret Garden!

we revealed the secret on 13th March..

B's fetish with black & white

the ambience was great. and the girls were great.

happy birthday dearest M!

all ends well & good :)

the love that we share ♥

xoxo, the new life & my girls :)

2009-03-20T02:34:00.001+08:00

sometimes, its really hard to decide wat u really want..
in life and in everything.

2009-03-15T16:44:00.002+08:00

i have so much so much photos to collage! and so, so, so much stories to tell!
eheheheheh but i am just so lazy! wait till the wkdays then!

stay tuned :)

2009-03-06T16:28:00.001+08:00

i seriously HATE copycats.
hate them.

2009-03-04T21:41:00.001+08:00

i read this somewhere, and i find it very true. really damn true.

Life is a comedy...

I always looked upon this sentence and asked, really? is it really?
Well, i guess it is true sometimes, when you think you have something, you lose it... Laugh...
When you don't wish for anything, everything comes... Laugh...
The one you love, doesn't love you back... Laugh...
The one you don't love, loves you alot... Laugh...
The job you loathe going everyday to, pays you well... Laugh...
The job you love going to everyday, pays you peanuts... Laugh...

why is life like that!?

2009-03-03T12:30:00.004+08:00

u dont only/really miss that person, cuz he's too much of an ass.
but u miss his parents and his family, cuz they are always nice to u.

a sad dream.

2009-03-03T09:54:00.001+08:00

im soooo tired. i just feel like slping and not working.
i think im having tuesday bluesssssssssssssssss.. i want the wkends.

2009-02-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

i think i need more time. much much much more time.

i cant handle too much all at once.